The mediocrity of me

Luther in a letter to Erasmus spoke of the mediocrity of his theology, it is a word I resolve to describe the mood I find myself in. As a psych nurse I used the analogy ,that a bottle of lemonade can only be bumped,shaken and dropped so many times before you have to let the gas out.The last few weeks I have felt bumped for what I eat and my size,somthing that has not happened since primary school.Shaken by stinging remarks and dropped at being unable to hear of a women's call into ministry.
You may think it a little strange that I turn to Paul for encouragement but he is an example of rejoicing in the love of Christ in a time when others would loose hope in their suffering,do not think for a minute that in my grumblings I compare myself to pauls suffering, but it is in this, I recognise the mediocrity of me in intellect,grades,patience.Yet can rejoice in Christ with the comfort of a full heart for Him now.

Paul writes to the philipians
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.[d] 20I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, 26so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.

27Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel 28without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you.